Hamer wedding like climbing a mountain

We mortals have the impression that we know perfectly well what things will make us contented in our lives. Men and women presume to chart their professional and social course as if destiny is a menu one can choose to pick and take. In reality though, few of us can find that inner peace and contentment without the intervention of the forces of random chance and circumstantial opportunity. This is more true for matters of the heart as true love does manage to join a most unlikely couple – separated not only by physical distance but also civilizations which are polar opposites. Capital’s Addisu Mulugeta, touring South Omo met and interviewed
Halloween Sheriman. Excerpts follow:

Capital: Tell us about yourself.
Halloween Sheriman: I was born in Holland in 1951. I have been here and there in southern Africa since 1984 and many years in Kenya operating a tourist lodge in Lake Turkana area. I traveled across the Omo River for the first time in 1994 after the EPRDF regime came to power. I have been around pastoralist communities for the last 25 years, so I am quite familiar with the pastoralist way of life, which I greatly love.

Capital: How did you meet your Hamer wife?
Halloween: I first saw Kuna at the Turmmy market in Hamer three and half years ago and fell in love. We talked about her going to school and she seemed very excited to pursue an education though her family has very traditional views about education. The issue of going to school was then forgotten for quite some time and I abandoned the idea. I met her again last year in the bull jumping ceremony and we started talking again. Bull jumping is a Hamer custom and a male rite of passage. We both came to the conclusion of marriage after the ceremony.

Capital: What was the reaction of Kuna’s family when she accepted to marry a white man?
Halloween: Marrying a Hamer girl is a complex undertaking. The first condition was that I must join the Hamer tribe so I adopted a Hamer father named Kommaya from an area called Kangatte. A ceremony was performed and my new father then declared, “You are my son, born from my loins.”

Capital: Was your marriage fully conducted in the traditional way?
Halloween: When we decided to get married, her family prepared the ceremony and all necessary pre-marriage requirements had to be fulfilled. I even passed the bull jumping ritual! However, Hamer weddings are a long process so I have not ‘finished’ getting married to Kuna until now, eventhough we are living together.

Capital: How do you think her life has changed since marrying you?
Halloween: Well, she has a lot of freedom now. She goes to school and she has the right to travel everywhere. I think her life has changed for the better without adversely affecting her roots, and we have a contented life.

Capital: How many years does it take to get married to a Hamer woman?
Halloween: In the traditional way, it takes about 10 years because the requirements are very complex as indicated. There is a bull jumping ceremony every year and judgment is given about your performance. You are also required to give a dowry of not less than 30 cattle and 100 goats for the bride’s family.

Capital: Have you traveled with Kuna outside the Hamer village?
Halloween: She has a passport to travel anywhere and everywhere she wants. We have visited Addis Ababa and Kenya so far.

Capital: Is Kuna still a traditional girl or does she have modern ways?
Halloween: I would say she has one foot in the traditional and the other in the modern world, because she feels that she must participate in all the traditions of Hamer. If one of her family gets married, she would present herself for the customary whipping. She is not abandoning Hamer culture at all.

Capital: What do think about this traditional whipping of the bride’s female relatives?
Halloween: Personally, the beating is very difficult to accept but it is a free choice; the women are not necessarily obliged to participate. It is part of the culture during marriage though it seems horrible and primitive to the eyes of outsiders. Of course, not all tribes feel that the ritual of whipping is important. Only the Bashada, Dana, Karo and Hamer down in the Omo valley are good enough cattle jumpers in order to beat women.

Capital: What do you call her now, your wife or fiancé?
Halloween: She is not yet my wife by tribal law but is more like a fiancé to me.

Capital: Where will you be settling for good?
Halloween: It will be in Hamer because I like it here very much. My life has also become a pastoralist’s one since I have spent half of my life in this place. This is now my true home.

Capital: Have you been married before?
Halloween: Yes, I have a daughter and a son from a Dutch mother.

Capital: What do you do by profession?
Halloween: I am a tour operator with 25 workers in Ethiopia. I have a tourism business in Omo and Geleb areas bordering on Kenya. My company provides helicopters to clients in Kenya and from elsewhere in the world.