Tuesday, May 21, 2024
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How to know when to say Yes

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Last week we saw how difficult it is to say “No” and that as a result of that we find ourselves running in the rat race and away from achieving results. Some of the reasons for not being able to say ‘No” are the importance of relationships (we don’t like to disappoint others), procrastination (postponing things that really need to be done) and not knowing very well what our real priorities are. The sad thing is that as some people fail to say “No” to requests that come their way, they often don’t really mean it and will not do what they just promised they will do. As a result of that they disappoint the very person they didn’t want to disappoint in the first place. As a result, again they become somebody that cannot be trusted.   

Needless interruptions, unimportant meetings, some phone calls, some email and other people’s problems are examples of issues that may come our way and that we need to learn to say “No” to if we want to be more effective in achieving what really needs to be done. And to be able to say “No” we need to know what our priorities are and thus what to say “Yes” to.

Interesting enough, things we need to learn to say “Yes” to, are usually not very urgent. Instead, we easily say “Yes” to things that are seemingly urgent, no matter whether they are important or not. Telephone calls are a good example of something urgent that comes our way at any time and that we cannot resist to answer, while we don’t even know yet whether that call is more important and worth answering while attending to a very important client or meeting for example. Many people enjoy attending to what seems to be something urgent and are busy being busy, while they should be doing something else more important instead. A typical not so urgent thing that is easily pushed forward is planning ahead. Planning ahead can prevent a lot of trouble later but we seem to prefer facing the crisis and end up fighting fires here and there. Planning for the sake of planning doesn’t help much either, if activities are not being carried out according to plan and that happens a lot. Weddings provide a good example here. Many meetings are held to plan for a wedding which is a very important occasion indeed. Many things need to be arranged like the limousines, flowers, the hall, the church, the meals, the drinks, the video, the dress, and the invitations. During these planning meetings, people are assigned their tasks, which they eagerly agree to do as they cannot say “No”, remember? However, some of them will drag their feet and fail to do what they agreed to do, much to the disappointment of others. As we get closer to the wedding, the fire fighters and crisis managers come forward and all is well that ends well. But only at the cost of a lot of stress and uncertainty, while things could have gone wrong easily. The time spent planning is time well spent but only if the plan is carried out accordingly and adjusted in time if so required.

As mentioned above, proper planning can prevent a lot of trouble later. Let us take construction as an example. I see houses being built without properly planning the order in which things need to be done. As a result, walls and ceilings are broken up again for the plumber or electrician to come and lay their pipes and cables. The lack of planning also affects the quality of the end result as things are done in a hurry.

Planning, prevention and preparation are thus the issues we need to learn to say “Yes” to if we want to achieve results. And while plan “A” is ready to be carried out, it is good to have a plan “B” in case things turn out differently. Pausing and adjusting the plan is just as important as there are always hick ups and unexpected developments. Expecting the unexpected helps in preventing crisis and moving on effectively. This is what pilots do before taking-off. They make sure they have enough fuel to divert to alternative airports, should they encounter a problem in reaching their primary destination.

Now, planning can only be done properly if we know what the end-result needs to look like. In other words, if we connect to the purpose of the organization we work for or a specific project. Next, we need to know what our own role is in achieving the results of the organization or the project. Now, goals and objectives can be set, followed by identifying what activities need to be carried out to meet those objectives. Finally, a budget and time schedule can be set, providing the resources for what needs to be done. And while the project is now underway, it is important to consistently monitor progress, figure out where things go different than planned and adjust the plan accordingly. With the end-result in mind, chances are that they will be reached. Meanwhile we need to keep saying “No” to the things that come our way but distract us from reaching our objectives and goals.

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of the things which matter least.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.     

Ton Haverkort

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